There can be risks in personal storytelling. Sometimes we use our life story to beat ourselves up or hold ourselves back. “It’s all my fault!” “I’ll never be happy!”
But the upsides of personal storytelling far outweigh the traps. Storytelling allows us to take events that are exceptional, unforeseen or otherwise out of the ordinary and convert them into meaningful, manageable chapters in the ongoing theatre of our lives.
Here are three tips I’ve identified that can help you tell a more effective life story:
Put some distance between who you are today and who you were when your story veered off course.
So instead of constantly talking about yourself as still feeling overwhelmed or confused, start referring to those feelings as happening in the past. For example: “When that first happened, I felt stuck. Now I’m beginning to feel unstuck.”
Stories are made of words and language. Use words that help you confirm your progress.
3. Nail the ending
Narrative psychologists have found that stories are more effective when they have redemptive endings. The event may be positive or negative, but the story ends upbeat: “Winning that award was great, but I was especially touched I could share the recognition with my colleagues,” or “My father’s death was long and painful, but it brought our family closer.”
The larger point here is worth emphasising. We have a choice in how we tell our life story. We don’t write it in permanent ink. There are no points for consistency or even accuracy. We can change it at any time, for any reason, including one as simple as making ourselves feel better.
After all, a primary function of our life story is to allow us to place difficult experiences firmly in the past and take from them something beneficial that will help us to thrive in the future. Only when that happens will we know our transition is complete.
How will you know when that happens?
It’s a fairly simple feeling. And it’s not the feeling of ending at all. It’s the feeling of beginning. It’s the feeling that you’re ready to plunge back into the woods, dive back into the waters, jump back into life.
You’re ready to dream another dream. And to utter the most spellbinding, life-affirming words we can utter. The words that suggest a new story is coming.
Source: Feiler, B. (2023, January 19). Could your life story use an update? Here’s how to do it. Ideas.TED. https://ideas.ted.com/could-your-life-story-use-an-update-heres-how-to-do-it/